How do I even describe this…?

autumn_forest_sunrise-2560x1600…..buuuuuuut I’m going to try… :mrgreen:

Haha It’s not because it’s like a classic huge WOOOOAH moment or anything, though it sort of is (well definitely actually), but more like it’s continuous woooaaahness going on in every cell, every particle at all times, so it feels like normal, looks like normal (whatever the hell normal is 😉 ) but also patently is NOT any kind of normal that has been before, and frankly feels like internal shifting at the speed of light that’s so integrated and part of me at every level, that it’s also sort of mundane…

Yeah, that attempt to explain probably about sums it up, if only by it’s haziness and general ineptitude! Hahaha 🙂

I think the wondrous Lisa Gawlas has got an amazing, continuous and clearly magnificent window into this at the moment ~ check it out for some awesome on~the~ground commentary ~ she’s so epic!

But there are a couple of things I can definitely describe ~ actually I think it all comes down to one thing ~ opening into a new level of mastery, albeit in the most loving and careful (if stupendously fast!) manner! There are a few reasons I say this:

1) That’s my overwhelming sense on every level ~ heart, mind, body, inner knowing, outer information, synchronicity, confirmation, shared experience ~ oh my god~dess can you not JUST FEEL THIS! It’s  a w e s o m e  …. ❤

2) Since the Mercury retro kicked off, it’s been increasingly like being consistently and more and more clearly shown/feeling/seeing/understanding that a whole new level of sovereignty is required to step into this next level of BEing, namely by stepping into the centre of ME on every level of focus and beginning to remember how to BE (steer/drive/create) the whole damn thing…. 😯

3) This means my sensitivity has rocketed up, and in a very different way ~ I am sure many of you are familiar with that lovely symptom of this process where you have waves of ultra~sensitivity, usually emotionally? Well, this is like a deeper more energetic version ~ it’s like I am suddenly clangingly aware of what’s in my energetic environment, either just through noticing with my senses, or through deep irritation (if it’s something I’ve been continually exposed to), or literally ‘hearing’ someone else in my field ~ what’s happening in other people’s fields, the vibration of my surroundings, how what’s still dissolving is affecting me, the changes the incoming (upwelling?) light is having in/on me, the incredible and yet embodied clarity and knowing making me feel like everything is suddenly both a great deal more obvious and a great deal more mysterious (fun!) ~

Practically this is obvious in a couple of ways ~ my body is symptoming! My skin is more sensitive, but in a general way, not like before, my digestion feels sometimes more effective, sometimes completely compromised and this can fluctuate a lot, my solar plexus and throat feel like they are either constantly under ‘attack’ (weird!) or being upgraded (or both) ~ except for when they feel like they are blissed out and expanding with creativity, clarity and lovingness…nice…

4) But my favourite is this overwhelming sense that I AM now at the centre of it all ~ even when I am feeing utterly without understanding or direction in it, I feel like I have arrived somewhere, finally, after everything, and no longer feel like I am waiting to actually BE ME, like I have for so long, on some level ~

I could probably best describe it like I am now in the centre of my flow, but sometimes riding it on the surface directing or allowing with joy, sometimes dunked just beneath ~ sometimes I feel such loving calm about what’s happening that I can fully rest in it for the first time in my life without any of that underlying stress of not fully being sure if I was in the flow in entirety (i.e. still clearing deepest separation structures) ~ sometimes I feel like I should be knowing what is going on and need to get on with it energetically by directing stuff even though I feel totally without clarity or certainty about what that is (more fun!)!

This actually feels to be like a mystical marriage upgrade if you like ~ moving into different level of divine masculine/feminine balance ~ sometimes I am in that newly burgeoning divine feminine flow of loving peace and allowing while my energies expand and integrate themselves into greater ME embodiment ~ sometimes my divine masculine is wobbling about without his training wheels knowing my capacity for divine direction and creation is coming on~line but not quite ready to fledge just yet 😉 ~

This is how it’s feeling to me right now, which feels peaceful as initially (mainly for the last weekish) it felt a little like a whirlwind/pool I was alternately floundering or marvelling in…no doubt it will be another version of that tomorrow… 😉

One thing is FOR SURE ~ although there is still a balancing, a dissolving/downloading, a releasing, expanding and integrating process going on, it’s DIFFERENT ~ we are no longer playing the duality game ~ no way! Even though there seem to be bits floating about, it feels like they are there precisely and only because they still have information/self to impart, not because we are still operating there ~ this feels utterly wonderful (when I’m not actually processing them! 😉 )! And easier and easier to navigate, even if navigation means going ‘Ummmm no idea what’s going on right now, I will take myself to the sofa, breathe into my heart, listen, and apply whatever sage feeling~advice presents itself…’ 😉

(God it’s wonderful to feel how the releasing is just not hitting me anywhere near my core any more….phewwww relief….long (infinitely) may it last…. 😉 ) ~

So much more writing~flow coming about my summer, sacred relating and this moment of the journey, so we will see when it emerges ~ I am feeling at the moment that I am gifting myself the rest of this Mercury shadow to honour and release that cycle, in joy, in self~reverence and expression and in sharing, and right now that feels wonderful, so we’ll see…

Here’s a Sara~LOVE update for you guys then, with all my love ~ would love to know how you all are doing if you feel the urge, and if any of this resonates ~ love this feeling of a brand new game, with a whole new world of exploration gearing up, breaking through, being prepared for all at once! That we really are playing in and creating together…woo!

Loving you wildy ❤ …cookies and tea and alchemical enjoyment…♡

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