Honouring my summer…sovereignty, accuracy, LOVE ♡

imagesSo you may or may not know that last year I went off for a summer adventure ~ I actually went to explore sacred union with a beloved I met here on the blog ~ This was a MASSIVE adventure for me, and one I was totally ecstatic to explore, knowing how deeply sacred LOVE relating is a part of my joy and an experience I felt so ready for ~ and to find someone who seemed so ready to meet me there was heaven ~

As it turned out 😉 it wasn’t much about experiencing sacred union together at all, but was actually, among so many things, the deepest exercise in self~trust I have ever had (says a lot), a final experience of old~style relating under a spiritual guise (exceedingly useful and illuminating!) and yet also a glimpse into the new (me) that has continued to yield gems and treasures beyond my wildest dreams (even though I expect this by now…hah!), finally beginning to fruit in full with this Mercury retro we are just passing out of now (I have no doubt this is why I have suddenly felt free to do this here, as Mercury picks up speed to begin the journey out of this retro shadow) ~

But the most important thing here and now for me to say is, I honour my SELF in this journey, and I am sharing here (I have no idea how much, so we will see) as a gift to myself, to share my heart, be heard and cherished by me in all the ways that I deserved to be in the summer and could not be for very simple reasons, and to do what I have never done before, which is have a voice in these intimate shared experiences ~ not in the way I have in the past, which is to wonder why the other will not hear or support me in the deeper processes and try to get them to meet me there, or in that way of needing to be heard outside of myself (though Debbie and Christine especially in this thank you ~ you definitely did that for me too!) ~ but by supporting and hearing and sharing with myself completely, and knowing that my own wisdom, intuition and LOVE is all I need to understand what this was, for me, from me ~

So I can only share my perspective, which as deep and love~filled as it is continually becoming, can only be half of the experience, but this is all I can have or share for now, and now for me, that is enough! Because I know that sharing the perspective of the beloved who journeyed with me in a loving and mutually respectful way would always be a joy beyond description to me (and it always has been intuitively), yet any other kind of sharing or exchanging of energies that is not loving and respectful is not something I am interested or willing to engage in any more for any reason ~ and I love that this is now purely out of love, respect, sovereignty and a deeper understanding of all the dynamics that unfolded in this experience ~

Because without a doubt that is what my summer was for ~ yes it highlighted and refined my understanding of all the patterns of my history I had already recognised and presented them to me in such a way that I could finally see and honour them fully ~ yet for me the summer was actually for two main things ~ firstly, a deep, abiding and continually expanding understanding and feeling (I can’t emphasis how crucial that word is to an ascending experience!) of what sacred relating of any kind, and particularly intimate unions, really entails ~ but secondly (and for me most importantly right now) a new and expansive level of clarity and accuracy about what really went on for me in the summer, why, and how the new levels of sovereignty coming in for me now could only have come through the heartbreaking unpleasantness of that particular adventure 😉

So, I am assuming I will be sharing more, as I have felt to write this, but whether or not I do, sharing this here right now, this is for me, opening the door and beckoning myself in with permission to a sacred sharing space with and for myself if I want to write about it here ~ and sharing it also with love for anyone who resonates with the deeper experience of intimate relating, and the impact these understandings have on the shift in consciousness and existence that is opening a fully loving and abundantly good way of BEing with ourselves and each other ~ in celebration for all the beloveds who know in their hearts this can be, and will be, and already is! different…

One of the main reasons I have not written here much for so long is actually that I lost my voice ~ I mean energetically ~ I was so overwhelmed in some ways by the trauma of what I had experienced (not from any physically traumatic things I might add! This is always an energetic thing for me, and never ever seems to match up in ‘size’ with physical events, which always makes it harder to recognise and honour) and trying to process it the depths of it on my own because I couldn’t process or share it with the partner of my experiences, that even though I wanted to I found I couldn’t share it here or anywhere much ~ I didn’t know how, wasn’t sure if it was right/appropriate/loving to, and couldn’t get fully clear in myself about it, even as I was absolutely allowing and riding the whole thing as I always do 😉  ~

Basically, I had subtly and not so subtly given my power away in order to learn how to take it back 😉 and now I see it clearly, and understand why and how it happened, here I am ~ I deserve my voice on this, even just in this simple sharing, and I am going to give it to myself, in whatever form feels right ~ who knows maybe this is enough, but if I feel to share here, then you guys will get to share it too…haha :mrgreen:

We all deserve to be cherished, adored, honoured, respected ~ we all deserve to be seen, heard and understood (YES Debbie! ♡) ~ we learn to do this for ourselves first, and then we have the joy of sharing it with others ~ I celebrate how much more intimately I know this now, with a sense of utter liberation and freedom about how this actually flows for me, and a sense of deep unknown and excitement at my awareness that I am also just at the beginning of exploring what this can really mean in bodies, in lives, at all levels of BEing…sovereign golden Christed Consciousness…

I have never felt more like a student, an apprentice, a novice! And yet I have never been so sure that I have all I need and know all I need to know, and respected more the depths of my own understandings, awareness and experiences ~ and know I never have to play in that painful way with another ever again, unless I so choose, and this is just one beautiful freedom of LOVE to me…this is about my own sacred union, my own inner alchemical marriage, my own homecoming, and I LOVE it…. :mrgreen:

Love to you all, and hope to be here again soon ~ there is soooo much awareness and understanding and experience to potentially share here, yet I will follow the flow and see what feels loving for me ~ either way, I honour all our sovereign hearts, I hear them and I love them and see them and I know how brave and courageous we all are to continue this adventure into the mystery together…what a pleasure it is to share it all with you…♡

P.S. Apparently this is my 66th blog post…hahaha how perfect…♡

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