Hello beloveds, how is your post-Full Moon time? I’m sat here on the sofa feeling such quiet love and compassion for us all. It’s such a quiet day and that feels perfect and necessary. Thought I would come and share what I’ve been noticing this week…
Firstly, I found myself describing the effects of the moon as being like the entire restricted structure of emotional experience had been blasted up and was now floating, as if in anti-gravity. It’s a strange feeling but it’s like some massive shift has occurred in the entire collective experience, and although the releasing from that shift may make it seem otherwise as it unfolds, infinite freedom is now the new reality on Gaia.
For myself, I have found this has been coming up in a couple of ways. Personally, it’s mainly what I see as Moon-Venus stuff; childhood pain, wanting to look/feel different in my body (i.e. to look/feel physically how I feel internally) – that’s always been such a big thing for me, especially this month. It’s just so tiring having miasms and ancestral stuff and ascension waves constantly passing through when I am feeling so vital and beautiful inside, and although I’m flowing with it, I feel very tired of it and am definitely releasing some general distress from all of that.
There does seem to be a wider theme though, to all the things that are coming up, and it seems to revolve around the weariness of carrying so much for the collective as we have passed through all the old structures and changed them without being supported by collective reality or by the people living in it. Of course this was perfectly how it was and we have done it with love and thats so fine, but I honour what now wants to be felt, which is the sheer size of the achievement, and what it has meant for my heart on the way through. It seems to revolve around a sense of completion around not being met, not being seen, and having had to just be ok with that for a very long time, no matter how aware I have been of the whys and wherefores. Most of the closest people in my life have been intently self-focused in all sorts of different ways, and being so completely the opposite, that has been incredibly painful for me, even if I asked for it and have learnt an incredible amount from it.
I guess the quickest way to describe this feeling is this: I knew what i signed up for, I knew I could do it and I have; I knew what I needed, I asked for it and I got it; there is no regret or wish for it be different and I have complete trust in process; AND it hurt a great deal, and I had to be incredibly strong and brave for a very long time and that is what I am feeling coming up to close this cycle now. It feels like completion time. It’s just fine. It’s perfect. I understand. So I’m listening and loving it through. I mean, fuck, could anything ever be more justified…? I’ve had waves of this before but this feels like it’s showing up everywhere, from the very deeply personal to the collective sense of it, and that’s why I have been feeling it so much as the final coming down off the cross – consciously for those of us who know it, and structurally for the collective.
I have to say though, it is wonderful just how peaceful it feels. There is almost this welcoming of stuff that comes up now – like my heart is so eager to love whatever is still asking for more. It’s an incredibly sweet feeling and it tunes me in even further to my nature. I look at things in a different way – how devotedly I have stuck with my connections and my wounds, determined to be my best self and free myself and everyone on this planet. Even though I have had times where I couldn’t have felt less brave or less devoted or less loving, I know now that’s what I have been, and that’s what is driving the poignancy of this time, because I look at what we have passed through, and I look at how whole I feel, how peaceful, after changing and suffering through so much with no tangible end in sight or in precedent, and I look at the people who I have changed with and for, and how they still don’t see me in so many ways, and how that’s fine. And I just think, wow. There is a deep rest in that. Feeling it being over, no matter what intensities or unfoldings come now, the pain, the fear, the struggle, is over. It’s just over and now we can all move on to what we truly are, inside and out. And I am so grateful for this, and the knowledge that this planet is free. It’s free now, to BE LOVE. And so it will.
So I am holding you all with me in my heart today, quietly beaming out my love and gratitude for this, and whatever everyone is feeling. It feels like the end of an incredibly epic mission, the largest ever attempted, and we have succeeded magnificently, and now is the time of renewal. I welcome it wholeheartedly, with a great love for all that has been, and a deep excitement for all that is coming, and a great peace in just being with me, and you, now, in this day, in this feeling.
So, I am also noticing anything physical has just quietly gone up a notch – miasms, aches, tiredness, digestive stuff – and that it’s nothing to do with me! It’s been nice that, actually – noticing that it’s really making no difference what I do – I am following the joy and everything is just processing its own way. I am so looking forward to this old-school physical state being over, but I am loving myself quietly in it. I would really like my face back though! Haha. Or rather, I would just like my new body. And am aware that there is tiredness there, so I’m listening. I have also been feeling the love in my body a great deal more; it’s like a surging lovelight and it’s blissful in a kind of normally-orgasmic way, if that’s possible! Haha.
I am also finding my nights have gone up another level of odd/intense. I definitely keep waking up feeling even more on the verge of becoming aware of what’s going on whilst asleep, like it’s bleeding through and it’s SO powerful and so it’s waking me up. I have definitely felt myself working with others on the moon transmission – on Tuesday night I kept waking up at intervals aware I was ‘transmitting with/to someone’. It was a very oddly multidimensional feeling.
Oh and the other thing that keeps happening is Glastonbury! I seem to need to be there a lot, without any conscious focus or effort. After maybe going once every 3-4 months, I was there on the Equinox, then went a couple of weeks later, then again the following week, and now this week it’s looking like I will have been three times. You have to bear in mind I have no transport or money currently so this is most definitely significant that people keep asking me to go, and taking me with them. This feels very energetically important to me because I know Glastonbury is like my energetic base camp here currently, and it’s like I’m needing to be there either for Glastonbury or me or both! A while ago I read something which described Glastonbury as the heart chakra of the Earth. This made my heart open like a rose and I resonated so much with the feeling – it made very subtle sense of me in this lifetime, and it keeps being in my mind every time I’m at Chalice Well. I’m there again tomorrow and Sunday – I’m paying attention to the timings! Very symbolic.
Which also feels linked to the fact that I think I’ll be doing another transmission on Sunday – I think I’ll be gathering Good Friday into it too – it feels Christed and I feel like that’s why I’ll be in Glastonbury…so watch this space and tune into you with it if you feel the nudge and I’ll let you know what unfolds.
But until next time, I love you. Sleepily and with cookies and such huge cuddles for all of us and being here now. And I think it’s time for another cup of tea… ♥