I have written a lot about how I see money, but as I have expanded, especially in the last year, I have come to realise just how completely uninterested in any form of confined value/exchange system I am. For so long I couldn’t quite work out why some of the ways the people I really resonated with were talking about and being in systems of exchange felt so uncomfortable to me. Of course, I started out by trying to work out why I was wrong! Then I started to let it inform me about me, which has been the most joyful activity for a while now.
I don’t really have a particularly coherent sense of the details and the whys, or how it would all work in practice yet – that comes when it comes and I trust that. What I do have is an incredibly clear sense of my feeling, and why i don’t live where many people love to live when it comes to value and exchange. One of the things that is most joyful to me is that I am rapidly losing any sense of discomfort around not agreeing with where people are happy to reside in these matters, because what I love to be is only relevant in my world, and I love everyone else in theirs. How it all fits together is currently (for the vast, vast majority of the time) way beyond my conscious comprehension. I just trust that it does and, frankly, right now I love not knowing AND trusting! It’s so peaceful and freeing.
Lately, I have come to understand this in terms of joyful focus. It’s sort of like rungs on a ladder (a la Karen Bishop) but feels a great deal more spherical and harmonious than that particular image to me. Basically, for me it’s about vibration, and where people are setting up home in the new FOR NOW (because I feel like it will all continue to flow and change constantly). I feel like certain people have arrived at a place where the way they value themselves and the way they use money/time as a way to do it works perfectly and joyfully for them. What I have noticed about all the people I am connected to who are being this is that they are all in some way already set up in their chosen abundance methods – they have their joyful current Earth mode grounded in some way, their established system of working on the planet and it’s being carried over into the new. To me this feels like an amazing bridging where they are seamlessly integrated into the system that already exists – i.e. money/time – and yet THEY are being LOVE, and so changing that system by being in it, recognisable and familiar in some way to everyone also in that system.
This is very basic and my sense of it changes, but for now that’s how I want to explain the backdrop of where I have got to. Because I feel really strongly that I don’t live there. My vibrational home – my paradise – isn’t physically manifested yet because it feels more refined, higher, and part of my joy is to know that and trust it as a perfect part of the whole. I really cannot stress enough that this has nothing to do with comparison or valuing ‘higher’ or ‘lower’ as better or worse, it’s simply about where people are joyfully focusing at any given moment. And right now it feels so amazing to me because it means that all layers of our reality – new and old – are seamlessly linked and integrated and evolving together with complete ease and grace, and that within the New there is also a vibrational structure that ensures this. That’s why we have all got different joyful focuses right now in our initial newness, because it mean the whole picture is always supported by joy as it unfolds. I hope this makes sense!
The thing about me is, I don’t have any established 3D life whatsoever beyond that which is absolutely necessary and suitable to my sensitivities. I have no anchor in the old – no home of my own, no job, no car, no bills, no career, no committed relationship or children, and so on. As I have been becoming more and more aware of recently, this is because at this point, I feel like I am very naturally holding a much higher HOME vibration in order to support the leading edge my way and continue to expand it into the new. We are all doing this in our own way and there is a lot more focus and detail behind this small description, I am just getting a handle on why this feels different for me. For me, my home, my paradise, has absolutely no form of value in it other than felt, joyful rightness, moment-to-moment. I have no interest in restricting the way I exchange with people – and this comes up most tangibly in therapy terms – in any way whatsoever. I have no interest in even considering how it works in the balance or detail right now either.
As you might imagine, this has given my mind a great deal of confusion, because surely I have to have some fixed way of exchanging in order to have a therapy practice? How can I go about charging or not charging in a fair way (for me too!), how can I have integrity in that? And this is where my self-love, self-trust, wholeness and freedom to just be me have come in and expanded and expanded my awareness to the point where I am saying to myself ‘Aaah…I think I am getting it!’ I love it.
Inclusivity and Fluidity
First off, I was trying to fit my sense of it into a one-size-fits-all approach; it was imperative I had the same way of dealing with everyone. Erm, why Sara? Why?? Everyone is different, everyone has different capacities, different resources, different understandings, different expressions, different desires, moment to moment! So, of course, the only way of approaching this for me is simply ‘the way that fits Sara’. And let the rest work it out for itself. Of course!
I most definitely do not resonate with the concept of ‘spiritual service must be free’. That really just feels old to me, from times of purity seemingly requiring poverty to move beyond ego, and not innately trusting our own loving, generous natures. But I don’t go the other way either, which says that if you give freely you don’t value yourself. On this journey I think there are amazing lessons to be had from both these approaches and everything in between, but for myself I am not interested in any restriction in any direction. The only thing that interests me is full freedom in every Now to be joyfully me. Everywhere! Trusting my natural balance to be always perfectly so. I LOVE the feeling of giving freely of myself in every way, exchanging in any way, being everything I feel to, always with trust in that perfect balance.
So for me, I think having an amount to charge as a basic rate actually feels great right now – I feel there are some people (and I have been one of them) who feel much more comfortable just paying for something. It makes it clear and easy and you don’t get tangled up in the whole valuing time and such that can accompany other kinds of transactions. But that’s the thing – I think money is great when it feels great – how easy and simple it can be. But I want to be able to quite literally go with the moment. Work with whoever presents however feels right. Apply the money technique if joyful, give for free if joyful, exchange in other ways if joyful. But not in any way trying to value what is exchanged, simply by going with the feeling, even if I never know how the balance works. For me, this transcends any sense of worth, value, fairness, balance and just heads straight for joyful being, letting the details sort themselves out by simply focusing upon the feeling of what feels right. I think this is living from a natural infinite sense of abundance, because you can implicitly trust your own abundant nature to always be your experience, being your own sense of fulfillment, your own sense of what’s right.
Yes, this requires an incredible sense of trust and self-love, because this is completely and utterly different from any therapy system that I have ever come across in the sense that it is simply feeling-based and completely me-centred! It requires sovereignty, and confidence that your way works for you and the people who resonate will be the ones you work with. But this feels so right to me in essence, and right now it feels like the only way to express myself in a therapeutic setting. One-to-one, moment-to-moment, following the joy together. The way I feel it now, I would probably have a very clearly defined and mutually agreed set-up for each person I worked with, but whilst one might be very structured and continuous, one might be fluid and change from week to week. FREEDOM! Why the hell not.
I can feel how I’m rapidly coming to a level of sovereignty where I could truly embody this with ease, because I am aware of the kind of confidence and clarity it would take. But I know it’s what feels right to me so it’s going to unfold to that level and beyond if it does manifest. What I love is that it’s self-fulfilling, self-focused and totally harmonious because it’s simply mine, shared with whoever I’m connected with. Everyone is free to discern for themselves, and I have found that if you come from joy, and are totally clear about how that works for you, people can take it or leave it because they can be clear and joyful in that themselves. Why should I approach anyone as if they are anything but unique? What could be more intimately and lovingly supportive than to offer support that’s completely and wholly suited to each individual in every way? Radical! But that’s how I like it really…♡