Oh I am so loving the way this blog has opened up for me. In this short time it has really and truly surprised me the way it has just gently and completely taken me through so many creative and mental blocks I didn’t really know were there. It’s been such a delight to add and develop and follow inspiration and observe all the responses to the flow in my body and mind and all of my field. I had no idea I had so many different rigidities around this stuff, though now I am seeing them more clearly, and considering the system I grew up in, it doesn’t surprise me at all.
I’ve moved through so much stuff around the value of what I post, and the reception of it or the opinion of it, which surprised me coming from an already pretty solid core of self-confidence around all this stuff (which I needed as I would never ever have even considered doing this before) and the intention precisely not to come from there. And as I have trusted and just followed the joy ( 😉 ), it’s opened me up greatly in ever direction I have turned my attention to.
For example, with the channellings, I stalled them myself for ages, though mainly because the joy wasn’t quite in full flow and I trusted that feeling, and as soon as I untied that final knot, they poured through and now that direction feels happily flowing and expanding at its preferred rate. And the other thing I’ve noticed, in the channellings and in these, is that I started this blog with quite a lot of fiery ‘masculine’ energy that had been so restricted for soooo long, expressing a lot of juicy and direct thoughts about topics that I have given great thought to but never really fully discussed in myself or with others. Similarly with the channellings, there was this joy in finally being able to communicate what had been building in these quite large receivings and posting lots all of a sudden!
It was like the masculine energy had directed and got me moving freely in ways I have never been able to, and so had also burst through many little blocks in that sphere of my energies that were all to do with organisation and perfectionism and being productive. I kept flowing through these but could feel them hindering my flow, because I would be feeling the creative urge all the time and yet these opinions about how it should be shaped and presented and created were stopping it from just coming. I realised that I had really created only the more masculine expression of my creativity (and my mental energies really are very masculine in tone so this feels entirely awesome to finally honour this first and foremost) and that now this was asking for balance by me opening up to a softer side of the flow. This awareness and feeling seemed to come in with the Comfort Channellings, which feels entirely appropriate…
And so, feeling this and getting ever more present with my joy in relaxing and softening into myself, I just opened to ideas without really realising I had, and got two; one of which was the softer side of the Channelling posts, and one of which was the softer side of the Joy posts. How lovely and neat and joyous. With the channelling, which I have written about on the page Loving Little Messages from Spirit, it felt as if I also wanted a way of just bringing through really loving little messages often and as I felt, firstly to expand and develop my ability by turning up for it regularly (not a natural thing for me and therefore particular joyous to experience an urge for), and most importantly to give myself permission to be more relaxed about it when I felt to, rather than needing them to be Big Long Meaty Channellings Full of Important and Useful Information. Haha.
The second inspiration involved the Joy postings. I have a very organised and efficient mind, which sometimes feels extremely paradoxical to its Uranian nature, and yet as I have always felt, the ultimate ‘system’ is a completely fluid one that can encompass all by letting it flow in complete harmony/chaos, which seems to typify the nature of my mind. Completely fluid and yet capable of highly detailed specifics when right for me. I enjoy. It can also be/has been excruciating when applying to my perfectionist tendencies…more joy. In this case, my mind enjoys organising the blog into energetic categories and present them joyfully in an organised manner, energetically as well as mentally. What this also means is that it then states that if I post something it has to fit into these categories both menatlly and energetically…haha paradoxical tyrant or what! So I am definitely in a process of being shown all these little tyrannies and finding ways of respecting them and reinventing them lovingly to shape the flow of ME into coherent form.
The Joy posts received this approach in the same manner. There is something about them that has a particular tone; they are very mentalised and thought-based and descriptive in the way my mind enjoys. They are also quite specific and framed within a wider topic and context, so my mind kept resisting writing anything ‘ad hoc’ because it wouldn’t fit ‘a topic’. Frustrating! So inspiration for freeing this up arrived in the form of…oh yes, you guessed it! Another category!!! Haha. Somewhere for me to simply say how I’m feeling, what’s happening for me, like a regular update-type area for me to just share myself in a really gently expressive, mundane way. Sigh. of. relief.
This feels to me like a masculine/feminine balance in both areas. Like the initial creative masculine drive and spark has now been complemented by a sister soft flow of loosely flowing expression. It feels totally divine and frees me up to at once honour my crazy mixture of tones and also freely express whatever whenever and however. And stay firmly rooted in my joy, not in how my ramblings and postings are being received. Perfect.
So this is the birthing of this particular joy expansion – I am absolutely adoring this right now, and the freedom it is spreading throughout my energies. Freedom to express and love and revel in just being me, without external validation or involvement in my considerations, in all my modes and tones and craziness, and spread the love however it takes me every time I come here. And now, every time I even think about this blog it makes me smile with a warm fuzzy feeling. Sometimes I just come to look and feel so blessed that I have freed myself to such an extent to have created such a thing. Wow. It’s like being in love…Funny that 😉 …Loving loving loving and JOY ♥
P.S. …also, frankly, tea and roses and cookies of any kind…couldn’t think of a better way to continually express this essential tone of Sara…joy! ♥