Oh God/dess, wouldn’t it be awesome to be able to teleport – to visit anyone you loved whenever the joy took you – to know without hesitation that your joy would be their joy because that was your navigation system? Wouldn’t it be incredible to fly? To be invisible? To be able to wake up in the morning and think, hmm, I’d like my hair to be long and blonde today with a slight wave and a golden sheen? Or to have angel wings if you feel like it? Or to be able to create out of ‘thin air’? To be able to ‘download’ an entire language instantly and speak it fluently? To be able to fly through the universe at will on a grand tour? To sit in an armchair in space drinking tea and gazing at Andromeda (one of my favourite thoughts…)? To be able to express your joy by spinning up into the air and emitting golden rainbow sparkles of light? To experience yourself as a field of presence moving through anything solid? To see and create with elemental flows of light as they form all that we know as form? To be able to create and shape your physical form in whatever way felt most wondrous to you, and change it again and again however the moment took you? To know that whatever you wanted to do in the world, whatever adventure your heart led you on, would unfold in perfect ease and grace as soon as you set it in motion? To know more and more of who you are, through all the infinite expressions that are available, beyond limitation and beyond restriction?
So I was just listening to the daily message in Meredith’s Embodying the New Harmonics Soar-fest, and as usual it opened up an extra-expansive sense of joy that I wanted to express here and generally splash around in, as I do.
Something I have gotten to know more and more about myself, is just how deeply cosmic I am in some fundamentally conscious way that has made being on this planet a tremendous challenge. I have come to feel it lately as like a seesaw that needs to be held in balance, where the cosmicness which is so naturally me, and seems to be so available in my consciousness, needs to be grounded into this form of experience, in a physical body, on the earth, existing in time and space in whatever way suits me from moment to moment, without curtailing that sense of mystery and divinity that has always been my lifeline as an extraordinarily sensitive being of light in a human body.
Oddly, something that has made this trickier for me, is being clairsentient rather than clairvoyant or clairaudient, because the sense of divinity was never actually confirmed for me in any direct way in my human experience, even though I could feel it all there in such strong ways. I just wasn’t able to understand or acknowledge that. I am able now to get a strong sense of at least part of why that was crucial (for one thing if I had been able to see all the things that were producing the terror I experienced for so much of my life, or in any way had my sight opened when it wasn’t supported by knowledge or awareness, I could not have dealt with it and would probably have left the planet from the sheer overwhelm!).
But now I am really getting to know at least a beginning of finding the synthesis of energy and form for me; through the joy and passion I have for experiences on the amazing Gaia, especially the ones that are considered ‘earthy’ (yes I am thinking food and bodies here), I am beginning to appreciate the importance of keeping that sense of the divine and mystery open, as well as the reasons for how I am designed.
The thing is, I am just SO unboundaried in my imagination and my perception, and actually I have always been so, to the extent that my openness allows. Of course I feel that’s true for all of us in the sense that we are in essence just that. But for me there is a way in which I am set up to have access to it in my mind that allows me to mentally soar in some truly free ways. I just have such a radical Uranian-Mercurial mind. (Most people that know me are aware how much I love to use astrology as a language to translate the all-that-is and I think anyone that reads much of what I write here will get to know it too! So I’ll just carry on…). The challenge really has been getting myself onto this planet and grounded enough to clear everything that’s in the way of allowing that inspiration and imagination of mind to create the awesomeness that I really feel I am here to create and experience, with the support of being able to make it manifest through conscious understanding.
So now, as I really let go of all the restriction and rigorous discipline of this journey, which has been so against my nature in some fundamental ways, and begin to rejuvenate to the point where my essence can guide my focus with lightness and joy, the fun really does begin. And as I expand and begin to flow in the fullness of me through the transmissions I receive; through the Soar-fest and Michael, through the surge of energy in the Eclipse cycle and the planetary movements we are calling forth to assist us, through the continued focus in ME and through all the collective collaboration of so many fields of love and light attending to and creating this vast unfolding occurring on this planet right now; I begin to feel the form of Sara and the intention of her as the vehicle starting to hum with purposeful direction. And as I understand this more, so I align with it more, and the excitement truly begins to arrive…
As I was listening to Meredith and Michael today, my sense of the current of unfoldment and how it works deepened. Because of the intensity and challenge this process has brought, and the exhaustion and rawness so many of us have experienced as a result, one of the hardest things lately has been relaxing and letting go enough to really let the new in. It’s so hard to trust that it will arrive when you have been through continuous, endless clearing, popping out occasionally for slowly increasing experiences of peace and bliss, but then diving back in for round after round of purging and cleansing. Actually ludicrous what we have pulled off here! And it has meant that in so many ways my being has been honed down to desiring some intensely mundane and normal things: the comfort of having my own haven of a place to live, furniture, food, being able to buy things, spend time with soul family. Comfort has been made big in my focus, and the mode has actually gotten less and less ambitious really as this process has continued to empty me out. Very unfamiliar for me, but highly necessary to get me focused here, and these things are still absolutely first on my list as a launch pad for soaring! That thought just brings me so much joy, so I am creating it.
But today Michael was encouraging us to expand beyond this again, and I received a sense of how the flow truly is expansive and continually all-encompassing. It’s like, when you are operating from a place of really being empty, and your physical life is reflecting that, it’s so easy to get intensely focused upon those things that bring you a fundamental level of comfort, especially when you haven’t yet experienced any of it for yourself in a sovereign manner (I haven’t). I really honour this sense of desire for myself, and why my humanness feels this. And yet, today, with greater clarity I sensed how, when you set those standards for yourself by loving yourself so abundantly that you allow more and more of your true nature to come into your embodiment, your focus upon these things can soften because in many ways it will naturally occur. We are not naturally, in our essence, lacking in any way, therefore by allowing ourselves to know more of our essence, we allow for that abundance to flow.
And this means that, when that sense gets clearer, you can truly begin to expand your focus horizon out beyond those immediate desires for comfort, knowing that the flow will naturally include them, and that in fact you will make it easier for them to arrive in your physical experience by enlarging your imaginative explorations beyond that which feels so necessary, into that which feels broad and flowing. Because then your ability to experience becomes broad and flowing also, and more of everything comes through. And I really felt more today of how the flow can begin to encompass that fundamental level of deep ease and comfort and abundance whilst it widens into ever-more adventurous cultivation and expression. Because when you consciously expand through self-love, that means it will grow too, and so your natural abundance in all areas will grow, and in a way that includes ebb and flow, and rest and movement, and stillness and dynamic expression, in the way all life is a fusion of these. But in a way that is always expanding you in your experience and knowing of your self.
So now, as this sense of freedom feels like it’s finally being ignited, I turn my attention to the crazy quicksilverness of my mind, and feel how much I sense I am here to expand in both my earthly abundance, and my radical cosmic imaginings, and that it is so important that both are honoured and mingled and merged, and that I never let myself get restricted by any sense of ‘being realistic’ that has always felt so distressing to me, but instead by allowing my expansion to include a full fusion of embodied experiences of divine and human as my own reality, allowing my inspiration to meld and mix all the energies available in the great alchemical cauldron that is life on earth, and see what turns up.
And this excites me. Because I know those things I described at the top of this post are a mere fraction of possibility that has come through my mind, that may or may not come into manifest form, that as yet is completely framed by my capacity to perceive, and is limited even by putting it into words. And as someone that really doesn’t do impossibility (except in enjoying paradoxical thoughts), and is really only working to support that openness in a body, the radical implications of what is available to us here now can once again carry me forward into a joyous exploration of potential through this one I know as Sara…Joy. Oh yes!
And I get to share it all with you. As ONE. Yay.